the score

I remember the days and night before Christmas as a little girl: nervous excitement about what gifts I might receive on Christmas morning, and trying desperately to distract myself with any/all activity to fool myself into thinking about something else. Yes, I was the little one who woke up at three in the morning on Christmas, tossing and turning, trying to get myself back to sleep so the morning would come faster, only to find myself sitting in the living room — alone — staring at the tree and presents and waiting for anyone/everyone else to wake up. Sigh. Last night I found myself in the same place, experiencing this childlike Christmas excitement and anticipation, knowing that this morning we would find out who it is that’s living inside of me. So, of course, Mark and I decided to pass our late evening with the light-hearted, uplifting movie, Atonement, which of course left me weeping until my head hurt and my eyes looked like I had enclosed myself in a small closet with a bag of weed. Word to the wise: if you’re ever in an emotional period of your life, it’s best not to spend the energy watching a film based on any of Ian McEwan’s books (or reading the actual books for that matter) — wait for a more stable period of life. So, as you can imagine, having a verified increase of estrogen in my body has now justified all of the emotional havoc I’ve been experiencing (and causing?) these last few months: we’re having another girl!

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