too busy for introspection?
March — what happened to March? It has been a blur of activity: Burke’s birthday, Beckett’s birth/day, traveling to DFW, traveling to OKC, traveling back to DFW and visiting friends and family, traveling back to BCS, visited by Kerry and Isaiah (my cousin and son), visited by Kara Beth and Kayla (well, only providing accommodations; they were here to see my brother Dave), and . . . crash (followed by a deep sigh and lots of cleaning).
I’ve had so much trouble lately finding time to blog (see above). While there are no deadlines or mobs waiting to hear my latest ramblings, I’ve come to relish this little space of my own for processing this life, these lives. I’ve been thinking more about my need for introspection and my lack of natural ability to regulate or manage things outside of myself. Ironic, isn’t it, seeing as though one of my primary functions in this phase of life is to regulate and manage, among other things. Managing a home (people and space) requires so much intentional observational thinking. The nurturing, playful side of the wife and mother role I completely understand and love, but things like having to remember to brush three other sets of teeth three times a day or wash the kitchen floor consistently, if at all — I’m hopelessly flawed. I lose myself too easily to the “other world,” and I am having to learn to put it aside while I take care of the things and people in front of me. But, don’t worry, I’m still setting aside time for imaginative personal space. My recently prized discovery — books on CD for the kids: they have the pleasure of someone else reading Peter Pan, and I get a moment to ramble, even if only inwardly.